I’m thankful for
Your prayers show just how big your God is. What are you praying? I heard Gary Lamb say once something along the lines of i wonder what would happen if a pastor got up and was just real. I’m starting to get a little too real on my blog i guess. Read my story a few post back to learn more. I hate to keep talking about my story well actually i don’t. That is the very thing that God has called me to share. I truly believe that our Story is exactly what God will use to transform a world. I believe God is big enough to use us to transform this world. Recently i have seen God doing some neat things through a study on Philippians i’m facilitating . God brought this to my attention as i was thinking how disappointed i was at how i have done this saying i just haven’t done a good job and he’s like and you are capable of what? Yeah ok so none of us are worthy. My bad and im sure you have never thought you were. What am i praying? Not enough thats what i’m praying. OUCH But God is starting to reveal to me that i need to really really pray more about how he wants to use my story. I will just have to say i’m starting to think God is up to something HUGE here. Something bigger than me. Something i could never do and something that doesn’t invovlve me at all. What are my passions? I have a real passion right now for those who don’t belong, those who seem hopeless the person who right now has a gun to his head. The girl who is cutting her wrist as i type this. The person who has become thrown a way by the world. I’m gonna call us yes i said us The castaways. By the way i hate that movie so i need a new name. How big is your God? Right now i believe he is bigger than i am acting like he is by the way i’m typing. What do i think he is wanting to do? Huge things thats what. He is using my friend Josh to lead a group of people to transform a city through the movement known as connectrome. He is using my friend Jodi to connect 1 million people to God and each other through small groups. He is going to use me to impact the lives of 100,000 people in the next 12 months. How? Keep looking as we see how this journey unfolds. God’s huge. He is big enough to raise the dead so sure he can sustain the living. He has called us to a life that impacts the life of others. That includes me and that includes you. What movement are you apart of that is bigger than you?
Today is national suicide survivor day. I’m sure we all know someone who is a survivor of someone who took their own life. Say a prayer for these survivors today. Nearly half a million people will be treated for self inflicted wounds this year and over 30,000 people will commit suicide with nearly 25,000 of them being males. Over the next month many people who are depressed will go even deeper and this is probably the time of year more people die of suicide than any time of year. If you know anyone who is troubled pray hard for them, love on them. Pray for organazations like to write love on her arms who are attempting to make a dent in this area. Be careful what you say , you never know who might be walking in this right now. Pray for me while you at it i believe God wants to use my story to impact lives.
You know Satan gave up on me. He thought he had me and wrote THE END on the page and God just laughed and said sorry dude i’m writing this story and he turned the page over and wrote chapter 2.You can read more about that in my life story.
You think sometimes when you go through something that’s the end of it. I always heard people talk about past experiences when discovering your purpose or whatever and i’m like well that leaves me out. Well not exactly. Nobody said it would be a positive past experience or in your mind anyways. God uses our struggles to help others with theirs. I have come to discover at the ancient age of 39 (yes im really 39) what i believe to be mine. If you want to know mine look at my previous post. But i believe God wants to work through me to share my story of the things i overcame to transform peoples life. What does that look like? I know it involves those who seem to be without hope, the depressed, the lonely, the suicidal, misfits and rejects (in the worlds eyes). But HOW? Well that’s where the process will come into play. I know God has BIG plans for me and its going to be cool to see what he does. So when you gonna share your story? You have a voice use it 
As I share my story there are a few things I want to say first. The first I want to say is that I am no longer embarassed by my story. This is the story God wrote for my life so I do not apologize for any part of it. You have a problem with my past consult God he wrote it.
About this time 30 years ago God began really starting to write the story of my life that would haunt me for a while but now it is going to be what drives me. At the age of 9 my mother would die of cancer. With me being so young I really have little if any memories of her so that stunk. It’s here where I would begin going through life alone. In the fifth grade I would have a good friend, but 6th grade brought different classes as we would drift apart. I would go through my teen years as a quiet and reserved person resulting in no friends. So no surprise I don’t go to class reunions and I’m ok with that. I’m not trying to throw out a guilt trip or nothing here, just merely stating the facts of the story that was being written for my life. As I would leave high school and go out into the work force it would leave me with fewer contacts. But I didnt miss school at all. It brought no good memories as I was a social misfit. I was one of those people who didn’t fit into any crowd. I wasn’t a great athlete, nerd, redneck or so on meaning there was no group that I fit into so that left me as my own group.
As I would get older I would begin to isolate myself even more. I’m going to call myself an outcast. I was always one of those always on the outside looking in wishing I had somewhere to belong. I didn’t make good grades in school so that kept me from going to college so I would not be able to hide myself into studies of careers. I believe this was also part of God’s plan for me. He is indeed the author and perfector of our faith. By walking through my life alone I had no one to share my struggle with which would make things worse. I’m not really going to say much about my salvation other than I gave my life to Christ at the age of 25 and this would be huge in what was going to happen next.
I said I was walking this life alone but up until this point it was no big deal to me. I guess I kind of thought this was just the way things were for me. But at this point becaue of my faith in Christ I would begin to have a craving for fellowship with other people. The problem is it never really materialized so satan would begin to have a field day with me. He would begin to attack my mind and attempt to steal, kill, and destroy my life. I hated my job and well there just wasn’t much else going on in my life to bring any kind of joy. I had peace because I was saved but I had no true joy. I would begin to question if anything good was ever going to happen to me from this point on in my life. These thoughts would begin to take me into deep depression and because I was getting into my 20’s I would start to struggle with loneliness. I’ve heard the phrase it’s not until Jesus is all you have that you realize He is all you need. Well I can honestly tell you I think that phrase is a lie straight from satan himself. I find no where in the bible where God instructs us to live in isolation or to stay away from others and walk this life by ourself.
But that’s exactly what I was doing. Why? Well that’s a question I asked God every night. I would become bitter and angry toward God. I hated people I didn’t even know just cause they were happy. Church was a very unpleasant experience. Everyone seemed to have their own thing going on and few even had time to say hello. Ok I’m angry with God, depressed, lonely and don’t feel like anyone loves me. This is not going well at all I’m thinking. I’m thinking ok God your word says one thing but you never ever come through for me. Why God why. Why me? Now one thing about people who are depressed and have pity parties. It’s 100% selfishness. All I was thinking about was me. I’m scared at this point that what I believe to be the way God wants things for his children will never happen for me.
Now after all this is starting to add up satan begins to feed another lie to me. You would be better off dead. I would tell God I just wish I was dead why don’t you just let me die. Satan would throw out the word suicide to me. Now dont be misled here. I wasn’t full blown suicidal. I said satan threw the word out there and I would think about the subject. One problem with suicide. David HATES pain. I could not think of a painfree way to kill myself but me wanting to die didnt go away.
The one thing that would get me through this is the fact that I had just a glimmer of hope that I would make it through one day. That one day God would show up and save the day. God said he had a hope and a future for me. He didn’t want to harm me. Well eventually throught time the thoughts of wanting to die would go away. I can’t really describe it but I knew the whole time I didn’t need a counselor or a drug. If I took a pill this would all come back if I ever stopped. I didn’t want my happiness to depend on a pill so I endured through all of this. I always struggled with what God’s plan for my life was. Now I get it.
I attended catalyst this year and one of the speakers said a quote that I will never forget “if not you then who, if not now then when”? At the time I had no idea what God meant at the time but now I get it. I have felt challenged by people who don’t even know my story to share my story. God said ok David if you don’t share it now then when. God wrote this story for 2 reasons. So that He may receive glory and so people would know him. By sharing my story I believe two things are going to happen. First I want other people to come out and share their story and secondly I’m gonna pray something crazy. I’m asking God that through the next 12 months that as people hear and read the story He wrote for my life that He would transform the lives of 100,000 people.
Last I want to say that if I have not gone through this because of the way God designed me I don’t believe I would have ever come to know Him. Now if you are struggling with anything like what I was going through just hang in there, Jesus is gonna show up and do some amazing things in your life. If God be for you who could possibly be against you. By the way, Jesus did eventually show up and do the things that I talked about. I have an amazing wife of 7 years, who loves me unconditionally and some awesome people I get to live life with. Hang in there God is at the end of the tunnel.
I once was an outcast and now I’m being castout.
Can’t hold this in any longer. God is moving with urgency for me to share so hopefully i can share it this week.
I am in the process of writing out the story God wrote for my life. I have been challenged from all corners recently to do this by people who didnt know they were doing it at the time and yes i’t scares the daylights out of me. But i know without a doubt that God wrote my story to be both read and heard. NO one and i mean no one but my wife knows my story. Well except God of course. He is saying it’s time to let my story come out. My story includes a dark period in my life where i literally wanted to die. That’s all you get for now. Pray for me and my wife. Satan isn’t going to be happy when i start sharing my story.
Twitter / StricklandDavid
